The Return

I'm not perfect - far from it. I feel like I'm on top of the world and at my most motivated. After a while, I think that I'm strong enough to face temptation. Alas, I do stupid things. I fuck up. I feel sorry for myself. Then I start the whole 'health kick' thing again.

This is where I'm at now.

Previously, it's always been all or nothing. I know I've said otherwise, but it's always been that way. I'm either eating super healthy, or eating junk. My exercise routine starts out great and usually lasts around a month or so, then I miss one day & I never get back into it.

It's been a crazy couple of months. I've been feeling incredibly unmotivated and just plain BLAH! I've also been feeling so angry at myself for not getting off my arse and losing the weight before. My God! How many times have I been here? How many times have I said I'm going to lose this weight, get off to a great start and then just give up after a month or two because it all just seems too hard? I'm sick of it! I'm sick of punishing myself. I'm sick of feeling bad about myself. So it's time for a change. It's time for a plan. So this is what my new plan is (doesn't every just love a new plan???)...

I intend to move at least 20 minutes a day. I have hired a treadmill during these winter months because it's too bloody cold to go outside. It's only 20 mins - how hard can that be? I also intend to exercise in the morning to 1. wake me up and 2. to improve my energy levels throughout the day. Any other exercise done during the day is just a bonus!

Foodwise? Well, I intend to eat when I'm hungry. I plan on making smart choices and being organised (if I'm so organised at work, why the hell is it so hard to be organised in my personal life???)! I've switched to decaf coffee and am going to aim to drink at least 1 litre of water a day (I will increase this as it becomes easier to remember to drink water). So those will be my main two challenges for this month: Drink at least a litre of water and to drink decaf. Oh and to walk for 20 mins a day :)

So I've been thinking about what I want, what my goals are. And besides the whole 'get fit & healthy' thing, I want to run. I want to be able to run for half an hour straight. I want to not obsess over everything I eat. I want to be able to wear whatever I want and not feel embarrassed about being fat. I want to not have to worry about losing weight for the next upcoming event and then feeling depressed because, once again, I didn't get to my unrealistic goal. I just want to feel good about myself. I want to feel confident. I want to feel alive!

So today I walked for 20 minutes and I cleaned my house. I'm happy with that. I've drank just under a litre of water, so will drink some more before Grey's Anatomy starts.

And on that note...I will leave you all to get back to whatever it was you were doing before reading this. Take care. Read you soon :)

xx

Comments

[wanna.b.slim]

Hey girl!! You're back..I am rooly glad to see you...

Sounds like you are on a mission...
Plzzzzzzzz keep updating.. it does keep you accountable...
I would be lost without my blogging buddies... Oh and my weighbridge nights... haha..
Hope your life is cruising along nicely...

[alea]

So good to see you're back!!! I missed you.